Someday, when the crazy-making is finished and you're on your way to recovery, you're going to realize that the psychopath wins nothing. In fact, I think it's fairly obvious that they only win by losing. They lose everyone but the most damaged people. If your ex is like mine, you can easily see that surrounding yourself with sycophantic drug addicts, alcoholics, and other shady people is no win. It's a thing most of us learn to avoid.
The psychopath had you and lost you. He lost your love, your devotion, your care and concern. He did this with deception, betrayal, and abuse. This is no win.
They use people and throw them out like yesterday's garbage. They will never maintain lasting and true friendships with healthy people. Their families give up on them or, even worse, keep spending their precious love and energy bailing them out of trouble and protecting them from the consequences of their own actions. Does this sound like a win for anyone?
They don't know what love is. They will never know what it is like to make love with someone they truly love. They will never know joy at creating a life with a partner. They will never have that connection with other human beings. They will never know what it's like to look at their childrens' faces and feel overwhelming and unconditional love. They will never feel those feelings of helplessness when one of their children, a parent, a spouse, becomes ill. They will never rejoice when the illness is cured.
They will never feel empathy for another human being. They will never see suffering in the world and feel that determination to make it a better place for everyone.
A psychopath will never feel that sense of accomplishment at a job well done. They spend their lives always scheming, working angles, manipulating people and situations. They are never satisfied with what they have. There always has to be more, better. They usually FAIL because they simply can't get it right. And then they blame others for their failures. That lack of personal insight is no win. It guarantees that they will never grow and learn as people.
But you - you are none of these things. You have insight, and you had the determination to want to figure out WTF happened to you.
You might be out of this horrible relationship, or at least are strongly thinking about it. You're learning, growing, helping yourself
That's a win. You win.
They lose. Always.
Please Let Go Of The Idea That The Psychopath Has "Won"
Someday, when the crazy-making is finished and you're on your way to recovery, you're going to realize that the psychopath wins nothing.
Article Author: DawnG