Wow! I just noticed my No Contact counter changed to 11 months. I can't believe it!!! 11 months ago I was in excruciating pain. I'd be here on Psychopath Free and people would be encouraging me that it would get better, and honestly I couldn't see how. How could the feeling of being gutted and ripped apart EVER get better???
I thought my life might as well be over. I thought "No one is ever going to want me!!"
I didn't think very highly of myself. I thought, "I'm so stupid!! What a mess I've made of my life!!!"
I didn't think of myself as strong. I thought, "I can barely crawl out of bed, much less think I have the strength to recover from this!!!"
I didn't think I'd ever stop crying.
I didn't think I'd ever be able to restrain myself from seeing him again. I hadn't the past 33 times.
I wish I could say there was a magic formula to the healing/recovery process.
I wish I could say there was a 12-step program.
What I can say is I am a firm believer in working WITH time. I never asked, "How long will this take?" Mostly because in my mind I didn't think it was ever going to happen. But I did work at taking each moment as it came. I worked at embracing my emotions. I worked at focusing on me. I worked at purging his poison from my mind.
It is work to heal and recover. It doesn't magically happen. It doesn't happen without me DOING SOMETHING positive in my life towards the goal of being healed. Is it painful? Damn right it is!!! But the pain of healing is much, much different than the pain of being abused.
Time doesn't stand still and change does happen. Just think where you are now, and where you were a week ago, a month ago, 3 months ago, 6 months ago, etc... Just think where you can be a week from now, a month from now, 3 months from now, 6 months from now...
I don't know about you, but knowing where I've been gives me hope in a brighter future. My only real responsibility is to live in the present and make the most of it.
We Can All Do This!!!
Time Doesn't Stand Still: Look How Far You've Come in Recovery
I worked at taking each moment as it came. I worked at embracing my emotions. I worked at focusing on me. I worked at purging his poison from my mind.
Article Author: PhoenixFire