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Why Do Psychopaths Put Us On The Defense?

The psychopath sits back, relaxes, and enjoys the show. They calmly point to the hysterical victim and say “Jeez, that poor, crazy person…”

  1. Peace
    This topic comes from the Psychopath Free book, which is available on Amazon!

    If you’re dealing with a psychopath, it’s a given that they will make unfounded accusations about you at some point—especially if you’re starting to put together the red flags in their behavior. These insults have a very specific purpose: to put you on the defense.


    It’s actually a lot simpler than you might think. People who defend themselves seem guilty by default. Whether or not they deserve it, that’s the unfortunate truth about how most people think. We’ve seen lives destroyed because of this phenomenon—a man falsely accused of rape, destroying his reputation even after he’s proven innocent. It doesn’t matter. No one trusts him anymore.

    So the psychopath says all sorts of ridiculous things, and you’re suddenly defending yourself from accusations you’ve never even dreamed of. How could you not? Your name is being smeared—if not to others, then to the partner who supposedly loves you. So you get caught up in trying to prove them wrong, and that’s where the calculated self-destruction begins.

    The psychopath can sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. They can calmly point to the hysterical victim and say “Jeez, that poor, crazy person…” Essentially, they provoke your anger, and then calmly use it to prove their own point.

    Nobody likes negativity, especially when that negativity is directed at someone they like. When you feel the need to expose a psychopath’s lies, you’ll find yourself saying a lot of negative things. “They’re the liar, here’s the proof!” or “They cheated on me, here’s the proof!” or “They’ve done the same thing with ten other partners, here’s the proof!”. The problem is, nobody cares about the proof. They just see obsession and jealousy, as the psychopath will groom them to believe.

    Because you’re defending yourself, you seem like the guilty one. They’re just on the sidelines, playing innocent after provoking you. And again, you can never convince anyone of that.

    Here’s the most important thing to remember: defending yourself will only make things worse. Sometimes less is more, and this is one of those times. You think you have a perfect response to their ridiculous defamation? Yes, the psychopath is counting on that. In fact, they’ve carefully crafted their insults to make sure of it. They attack the things you value most, because those are the things in life you will defend most passionately.

    And make no mistake—it’s intentional.

    The easiest way for them to suck you in is to accuse you of doing things that they themselves did. It’s almost too easy for you to point out the hypocrisy. And that’s the point—yes, it’s too easy. Because it’s a trap. If you have a perfect retort to their garbage, there’s a reason for that. Do not fall for it. They want you on the defense, trying to prove yourself to everyone, including them. Once you’ve taken the bait, their job is done.

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Article Author: Peace